Most parents don’t have their emotional vocabulary built up – Dr Izefua

Tantrums are not just about children, even adults throw tantrums. Tantrums, according to Dr Izefua Erhaboh on WakeUpNigeria this morning, is when a child or adult let emotions take over him/her and don’t intentionally decide what to do with the feeling.

Here are the things you need to know about tantrums, especially in children, as explained by Dr Izefua.
“I call it emotions so it can be understood. Emotions happen to all of us. When a child is born, the out-pour of emotions is expected and doctors try to do something about it in case the child does not cry. Emotions are chemicals in your body that releases to give you a message that something is going on. It’s a feeling and your body gets the data that somethings is happening. When children come up with emotions, we easily tag it as bad behavior when we are not aware of what is happening.
 The wrong time to teach your child to do something is when the emotions are there, the child will resist and you will get pissed. For instance, you want to teach your child to share, don’t teach him or her at the point where she is angry at someone taking her stuffs. To intervene at that point, you have to validate the feeling, validating alone is calming. We should teach them that it’s okay to feel that way, the behavior that comes with it is a reflection of the behavior you have taught them or what they have seen in you.
Most parents don’t have their emotional vocabulary built up, so when the child does outside what they know, they tag it as bad. When you as a parent goes out and come back, your child throwing tantrums is on the high side. This is because they have missed you and needed you. A child could be tired, hungry, lonely or angry, so parents need to get more knowledge on this so they know what’s happening. One of the ways to get proper emotional growth in children is by checking your self first and taking care of your emotional strength because your children see and copy you.”
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